Aries: …..and that’s why I don’t like cricket
Taurus: this is an OUTRAGE
Gemini: ‘Want to know how I got this THUMB, BOY??’
Cancer: Killed a swan the other day. Did a shit on it.
Leo: Want to go to a club where people wee on eachother?
Virgo: Liquid breakfast. I’ve had champagne on my golden grahams and I am STEAMING
Libra: We’ve all seen you at Glastonbury with your nose burnt out from poppers.
Scorpio: I narrowly avoided a bumming from Grizzly Adams
Saggitarius:’Don’t mess with the Occult.’ ‘I thought it was good for your digestion?’ ‘No. That’s Yakult.’
Capricorn: And that completes the top 100 most dangerous animals…… in wales
Aquarius: Naboo, you know the rules. No phones on the stag. The penalty is very clear…. a turban full of tequila… in one.
Pisces: My hat’s on fire?! Why did nobody tell me?